Thursday, March 12, 2015


So, the other day Charlie spanked the secretary at Mary Clare's school.

I know.

I was signing us out after library duty, and all of a sudden I heard Mrs. G say, "Oh!" just as the other parent in the room gasped. I looked up, and based on their location to one another and the look on both of their faces, I knew immediately what had happened.

You see, a few days prior, Charlie had started saying, "Mama, I have a surprise for you!" and then he would sneak up behind me and pat my bottom. I guess I should have discouraged it, but honestly, it seemed like yet another one of his passing fancies, and I obviously didn't think he would do it to anyone else, much less the school secretary.

So, anyway, of course I reprimanded him and Mrs. G was very sweet about it (and very good about keeping a straight face), and then we got the hell out of there.

Fast forward to the next week, and Charlie and I had to return to the scene of the crime so I could turn in some forms. On the way, I reminded Charlie that when we go into the office, we only say hello to Mrs. G — we don't shout at her or touch her pencils, and we most certainly don't touch her. There was no mention made of spanking or the Charlie surprise special, but he seemed to get the idea. We walked into the office, and I don't know who was holding their breath more, me or Mrs. G. Charlie, of course, was cool as a cucumber.

"Hi, Mrs. G.!" he said, and hit her with his most charming, innocent smile.

"Hi, Charlie," she responded, and inquired about his day.

I handed her the forms, she and I shared a knowing smile, and then we got the hell out of there. I know when not to press my luck.

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