Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I'm fluent in toddler

The other night after dinner, Chip took the kids upstairs to get them ready for bed while I finished up the dishes. As I walked up the stairs, Chip said, "Do we have a book called "Ham and Cheese Sandwich" that's new? Charlie was asking for it." Without hesitating, I said, "He means "Green Eggs and Ham."

The next morning, Charlie came blazing into the room to wake me up, proclaiming, "Mama, I have an issue! I have an issue!" He had a tissue. But he also usually has an issue as well. Usually with one of his family members, and usually about something monumentally important like not letting him open the basement door, "beating" him down the stairs or not offering him a full cup of water. 

But we're talking about his butchering of the English language. Which, like his sister, is totally adorable. Mary Clare still busts out an occasional "I not know that," whereas Charlie is more likely go with "No me go to school!" and "No me wear train socks!" Make no mistake about it, the "No me ____" phrase is always delivered with feeling.  

"Ambalance" is elephant, and some notable phrases include "the sun likes me," which means the sun is glaring down on him while he sits in his car seat, and "I use powers!" which means he will feed you a line of BS about what he did while wearing his super hero cape. 

There are more, so many more, but alas, I am not able to write them as they come out of his mouth, as they are usually tied to a demand request of some sort. So, yes. Operation: Regain Control is coming along about as well as you would expect.

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