So, this is happening.
The child who never took a pacifier as an infant (despite my repeated attempts to get him hooked on the bink), is now Team Binkie. It started two weeks ago. In the middle of an epic early morning meltdown where everything in Charlie's world was wrong and even promises of a pony wouldn't make it right, Mary Clare brought Charlie a binkie. He raised his head from the nude child's pose he was performing on the middle of his bedroom floor (I said it was epic) and popped the binkie in his mouth. It didn't automatically make him pleasant, but it did make him agreeable to you know, putting on a diaper.
Since then, Charlie has asked for the binkie via points and shouts of "There! There!" in similar moments when he feels that all hope is lost. Which is usually first thing in the morning or after a long, hard day at school.
No, it's not ideal by any means, but it's apparently what he needs right now. So it's what he's getting. And, as my mom was kind enough to point out, at least it's not his thumb. Because you can't take away his thumb. In America, at least.