Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Zero risk

Chip has a company car, and since we are married, I am listed as an approved driver on his fleet vehicle. I know, right? I don't think anyone has approved of my driving since Mr. Hopcus begrudgingly passed me in driver's education in 1992.

But enough about my driving or the fact that my dad's most often used phrase during the permit driving phase was "slow down," as in "Slow down. Slow Down. SLOW DOWN. SLOW DOWN! SLOWDOWNSLOWDOWNSLOWDOWN!" We're talking about Chip's company's fleet department here. And the fact that they, once again, approve of me tooling around in the old Equinox.

And they don't just approve of me, they consider me to be zero risk. Which is awesome, because, ahem, I may or may not have racked up three speeding tickets. In a 12-month period.

After reading the letter that proclaimed his wife a zero risk driver and regaining his composure, Chip turned to me and said, "Not that I ever doubted it, but Rob Hehmeyer obviously knows what he's doing when it comes to fixing tickets."

And to that I say, while this NPR-listening driver was mildly offended at having two of the warnings reduced to noise violations, I never questioned your ability to attorney, Rob. You're the bee's knees in my book.


  1. ZERO risk? That seems a bit overly optimistic. I don't think Jesus is zero risk. Maybe Rob needs to dial it back a bit to make things seem more realistic.

  2. He has created a rewards program for customers like you.


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