Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Speaking of clothes that are on the short side, I think it's time I bid adieu to the non-maternity T-shirts and cotton camisoles I had in heavy rotation this winter.

As I near the third trimester, I suspected our time together might be drawing to a close, but clearly, I wasn't ready to call it quits. Last Thursday, in an attempt to wear some St. Patrick's Day green, I pulled on a regular-sized, extra-long green Gap T-shirt. As I turned and tugged in front of the mirror, Chip looked at me and said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you might be asking a lot from that shirt."

He was right. And funny. I hate it when he nails both of those.

Such a comment would have led most women to thank their regular shirts for their service through the first and second trimesters and pack them up for thinner days, but clearly, most women are not as lazy as I am. I mean, why would I go downstairs and dig through three tubs of appropriately sized maternity clothes when there are perfectly fine T-shirts hanging in my closet, just begging to be stretched beyond recognition?

Alas, the final nail in the coffin came this week. On Monday I strolled into the office lobby, only to discover that my shirt had ridden up as I waddled walked across the highway, and a good two-inch strip of the belly was now on display. All I can say is, thank heavens for scarves. And for security guards who politely look the other way. 

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