Monday, December 22, 2008

Because they care enough to be brutally honest

Maybe it's me, but I tend to expect that someone in the the sales field will usually say the right thing at the right time. I would also expect an established, married OB-GYN to be fairly well versed in what and what not to say to a woman who is one week shy of her due date.

Well, let's just say that Chip and Dr. Simckes both took my expectations and tossed them out the window today.

This morning I was getting ready for work (denim day!) and after successfully pulling those damn elastic-waist jeans over my bum, I heaved a sigh of relief and then, basically, made a poor decision and spoke.

Me: Good heavens, I am fat. I'm exhausted just from squeezing myself into those jeans.
Chip: Babe, you're not fat. You're nine months pregnant. Just look at your belly.
Me: The problem's not my belly, it's my butt.
Chip: Well, what do you expect? Your stomach is huge. If your butt didn't balance you out in back, you would tip forward.

The fun continued at this afternoon's weekly check-up. Dr. Simckes breezed into the room, gave me a hug, shook Chip's hand and sat down.

Me: Don't forget, we don't want to know the sex.
Dr. S: Well, I do. You're 39 weeks pregnant. When in the hell are you going to have this kid? I'm tired of keeping this a secret.

To be fair to both of these wonderful men, I really did set Chip up for failure. There is no good response when a woman -- especially a pregnant woman -- says "I'm fat." And as far as Dr. Simckes goes, I love the fact that he is so incredibly blunt. I mean, any doctor who responds to the question of "what can I do to get things moving?" with the oft-repeated phrase of "what brought you here shall set you free," is okay in my book.

1 comment:

Leave a message, please. You know how I love the comments.