Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The pump and the bump

Most of my shoes have heels and pointy toes. The pointier, the better. Sure, sure, this might all change once the baby arrives, but for now, I'm sticking with my heels. My reasons are two-fold: One, I am lazy and find it easier to buy shoes of varying heel heights rather than alter all of my pants to the same length; two, I think pointy-toed shoes make my legs look longer, which therefore makes me feel skinnier. I am, my friends, not above playing mind games with myself.

Since I've been pregnant, my shoes have received quite a bit of negative attention. Several coworkers are completely distraught that I am not wearing flats every day; even the lowest of heels is a source of distress for them. Strangers look at me, shake their heads and make comments like, "I don't know how you can wear those ... even if you weren't pregnant."

The comments get a little old at times, but I know that everyone means well, especially since I have a reputation for tripping and falling on a fairly regular basis. Oh, and just so you know, people are not reassured by a pregnant woman who says, "Well, the good thing about having a history of falling a lot is that you learn how to tuck and roll so you don't hurt yourself."

I truly appreciate the concern, but the comments and pleas are falling on deaf ears. Pregnancy shall not come between me and my heels. Motherhood, maybe, but not pregnancy. He hasn't said as much, but I'm sure Chip wouldn't be thrilled if I took a spill with our child in hand simply because I refused to stop wearing ridiculously high heels.

This weekend I hit Macy's to buy Chip even more navy and black dress socks. While there, I happened upon a pair of shoes I had to have. Never mind that the men's sock section is on the complete opposite side of the store as the women's shoe section. I'm telling you, I just happened upon them. Shoes in hand, I trotted my pleased pregnant self over to the register and plunked the shoe box on the counter. As the Macy's sales person started ringing up my purchase, she took one look at the pumps, glanced at me, raised an eyebrow and said, "Mmmhmm." First, I am confused.

Me: Too sparkly?

Mother Macy: (another raised eyebrow)

Me: The heel height? It's not that bad.

Mother Macy: Mmmhmm. (followed by a pointed look at my stomach)

Me: Oh, because I'm pregnant? It's okay, I always wear heels.

Mother Macy: Mmmhmm. I'm pretty sure that's what got you into this situation.

Me: (laugh) You think? Anyway, it's fine. I probably won't wear them until after the baby is here.

Mother Macy: Well, you better watch it, or you might just end up in the same situation again.


  1. Wow. That is a really inappropriate comment from the Macy's lady. What kind of shoes did you buy?!? Do they have a clear heel?

  2. What? That is hilarious although totally weird!


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