Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Please don't make me dumpster dive

Dearest husband, why must you thwart my attempts to recycle? This morning I opened the kitchen garbage can and immediately spied two sad little #5 pudding cups resting on a bed of plastic. They pleaded with me to rinse and recycle them, so I complied with their simple request and placed them among their brethren in the blue recycling bin.

If this anti-recycling statement is a way to get back at me for not having any food in the house except pudding cups, point taken. But why take it out on Mother Earth? She's not the reason you had to eat pudding for dinner last night.

There was simply no missing the look of disappointment on your face when you realized I returned from dinner with my friends empty handed, with nary a box of leftovers to be found. "Who goes to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and doesn't come home with leftovers?" you asked Buddy. "Pregnant people, I guess."

I explained that Sue, Cori and I split a salad and entree so we had room for a slice of cheesecake (okay, two slices of cheesecake), but I still felt bad for not bringing home dinner. The coup de grace was when you extracted another pudding cup from the refrigerator and told Buddy, "Time to finish dinner."

Well played, Chip. Well played.

But still, I have to ask, do you really have to take it out on the recyclable plastics (which are numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 7, in case you forgot)? I'm the one who failed you, not Bill Cosby's favorite snack. Instead of calling this morning with a gentle reminder, I elected instead to add pepper jack cheese and that ridiculous Oscar Mayer salami to the grocery list so you can enjoy your favorite sandwiches before classes next week. I will even buy white bread instead of wheat. That's how badly I want to make this up to you. Now, can we call a truce and return to the recycling?

1 comment:

  1. I guess I should feel guilty I was stuffing my face at The Cheesecake Factory while poor Chip was eating a dinner of pudding, but I simply can not feel bad. The pumpkin cheesecake was THAT GOOD. Sorry, Chip.

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